Tamar marries Er, the son of Judah, son of Yaakov and Leah. Er dies. She marries the next brother Onan, as the widow of a brother with no children should marry the younger brother. He dies. She is then supposed to marry Shelah, the younger brother. Judah is reluctant to give her Shelah. She is told to act like a widow. Tamar dresses like a prostitute and seduces Judah. In the process, she asks for his staff, signet and cord and takes them. Judah does not know she is Tamar. Tamar gets pregnant. She is ordered to be burnt to death. She brings out the staff, signet and cord and says, whose are these. Judah responds: "She is more righteous than I, for I didn't give her to Shelah." And then Tamar gives birth to twins, Zerah and Perez. Zerah sticks his hand out first, gets a red string put on it. But Perez comes out first completely. Perez is the ancestor of King David.
So my question on my previous post on Tamar was: Why does Tamar merit to become the ancestress of King David?
Rashi says it was because of modesty. Judah did not recognize her because she covered herself up while in his house. Does this mean a physical modesty? Or maybe she just kept to herself? Or perhaps it’s the way she presented his staff, signet and cord: she could have accused him outright, but she set it up so he could either reveal himself, as he did, or he could deny it, which he chose not to do.
We can understand this story as a growth of Judah’s character; it is juxtaposed to the sale of his brother Joseph for a reason. Judah did not behave well in the sale of Joseph (one could add he did not behave well in withholding Shelah from Tamar as well). At the end of this story, however, he does the right thing by Tamar in admitting that it was his staff, signet and cord and thus he was the one who had impregnated her. You can read more about Judah as penitential man in Rabbi Jonathan Sack’s post.
Getting back to Tamar, I do find it strange that someone who dresses as a prostitute is considered righteous and a role model. But I suppose she knew she needed to carry the ancestor of David, and she knew it should be from Judah.
Wouldn’t ya know it? Yesterday was my first blog anniversary. And I didn’t notice until today.
One year ago I embarked on a journey of blog writing. My original purpose was to learn Word Press (succeeded, though there’s tons more to learn) and to write about and for people in Highland Park. I seem to have found a few readers in Highland Park, but many more around the globe. Thanks to everyone who has read any post of mine; thanks even more to those who leave a comment or two. I love the conversation.
One year ago my oldest son had his bar-mitzvah. He got called to the Torah in the synagogue and read both the Torah and the haftorah portions. It so happens that his Torah portion is Vayeshev, and last year I wrote a d’var Torah, a speech about the Torah, that I gave in the synagogue (at the meal after the services) to a wonderful crowd of people. I enjoyed writing a d’var Torah so much that I hope to continue doing so on my blog. It may not happen each week, but I’ll try. Oh, and in less than a year, we gotta do that bar-mitzvah thing again. It will be on Breishit, the first parsha of the Torah.
And now, for those of you who enjoy little quizzes, what’s the crimson thread?
And why did Tamar merit to become the ancestress of King David?
Can anyone tell me how many dreams there are in Parshat Vayeshev?
According to R. Abraham Twerski, Abe Lincoln once said: “I do not like that man very much. I should get to know him better.”
When my kids were in nursery school, they used to do this project that I loved. They would bring home a present, and inside the present was a paper book and a toy sword. Why? Keep reading.
In this week’s parsha of Vayishlach, Yaakov prepares to meet Esav, whom he has not seen in many years. Through messengers, Yaakov learns that Esav his brother still does not like him and is headed to see him with an army of 400 people. So what does Yaakov do to prepare? Rashi says he readied himself for three things: paying tribute (the present), prayer (the book, representing a siddur) or war (the sword or knife).
I’ve heard peaceniks and hawks both use this parsha to justify their approach to enemies. But I’m not sure Abe Lincoln’s quote really is valid for dealing with a whole nation of belligerents.
So who’s Timna? At the end of the parsha, it says: “And Timna was concubine to Eliphaz Esau’s son; and she bore to Eliphaz Amalek. ” Why is this relevant? According to Sanhedrin 99b, her son Amalek became the archenemy of Judaism because she had been rejected by Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov as a convert. Rabbi Twerski suggests that even if they had needed to reject her, they could have done it in a nicer way.
So this parsha really does have a lot to say about war and enemies. You may have some ideas about how some of this could be relevant today. If I had to come up with some good idea, I would never be able to hit the ‘Publish’ button, so here’s the post as is.
Anyone know who Timna is? And why am I talking about presents (which could go with a prayer book and a bow and arrow)? I plan to write more on this for a post to appear on Wednesday.
Poor Leah. She cried, because she thought she would get stuck with Esav (Rashi says weak eyes meant they were weak from tears). Instead, she married Yaakov, but she knew that he really loved her sister, Rachel, best.
Rachel had signs from Yaakov to show that it was she and not someone else when they got married. However, Rachel taught the signs to Leah, so Leah would not be embarrassed.
Leah helped Rachel out by praying for a girl when she was pregnant with her 7th child. She knew that Yaakov would only have 12 sons, and Bilhah and Zilpah already had 2 each. She wanted Rachel to have at least two sons.
As Lion of Zion pointed out, there are also interpretations that say Leah and Rachel were not so nice to each other. But that’s a subject for another post. Maybe next year.
(One more thought: as I tend to prefer a commentary that is sympathetic to the matriarchs, especially to their sadness, as opposed to one that might highlight cattiness, I’m not sure I’m gonna like these other views).
Do you have a sister? I don’t. I’ve always been a bit jealous of sisters. Someone to whom one could connect in a close way.
Rachel and Leah were extra special sisters. Do you know how they helped each other out? Rashi has the answer, and I’ll post the answer on the blog, soon.
Chabad House at Rutgers will dedicate a new wing to the Mumbai victims.
In an article at MyCentralNewJersey, Rabbi Yosef Carlebach, the director and founder of the Jewish center at Rutgers University says:
“The attack last week was not only an attack on Chabad or the people of Israel but on every living being that believes in life, in humanity and decency.”
And his son, Mendy Carlebach, went to school with Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg, who was brutally murdered in Mumbai. The article states:
“Even after he moved to India in 2003, we kept in touch via email,” Mendy said.
He said he last spoke to Holtzberg when they met at the rabbis conference in New York last year.
Mendy said Holtzberg told him of the new Chabad House that he had just purchased in Mumbai. “Gabby described it as an open house for Indians, Jews, everyone who could always come for a meal and a smile.”
Outside the Galil Mountain Winery, Northern Israel
In a previous post, I asked:
Let’s say your teenage or college age child goes away to school. How do you supply funds?
In this week’s parsha of Toldot, Yitzchak gives a blessing to his two sons, one to Esav and one to Yaakov.
Here’s Yaakov’s blessing (Genesis 27:28) —
וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ, הָאֱלֹהִים, מִטַּל הַשָּׁמַיִם, וּמִשְׁמַנֵּי הָאָרֶץ--וְרֹב דָּגָן, וְתִירֹשׁ. May God give you the dew of the heavens and the fatness of the earth, and abundant grain and wine.
Rabbi Frand (from Rabbi Frand on the Parashah 2) wonders why is the term for God here Elo-kim, which represents the Attribute of Divine Justice? Why not the Attribute of Mercy?
Rabbi Frand tells us Rashi’s explanation:
Although Yitzchak blessed Yaakov with much abundance, he made those blessings conditional. Yaakov has to deserve the abundance; the blessings would only come to fruition during those times that his descendants keep the Torah and mitzvos.
In contrast, here’s Esav’s blessing (Genesis 27:39) —:
And Isaac his father answered and said unto him: Behold, of the fat places of the earth shall be thy dwelling, and of the dew of heaven from above;
Esav’s blessing seems to be unconditional, with no strings attached. Why does Yaakov, the righteous son, only receive a conditional blessing, while the wicked Esav is blessed with guaranteed wealth?
Go back and review the choices I gave for how a parent could fund a child. If the parent gives a credit card, that is like Esav’s blessing. He doesn’t need to contact his parents further. Yaakov, on the other hand, needs to check in with his parents, to phone home, to maintain a relationship with God by doing mitzvot and keeping the Torah.
I would prefer just to be writing about the sunset my daughter and I saw on Raritan Avenue in Highland Park earlier this week. When we got into the car and I took my camera, she made me promise not to photograph any flowers on our trip. But she didn’t say anything about sunsets.
Unfortunately, there is too much urban drama going on in the home city of photo blogger magiceye. As I type this post, I am wondering about the safety of the Chabad rabbi and his wife, trapped by terrorists in the Nariman house in Mumbai. (Update: Chabad Rabbi and his wife in Nariman house reported killedtortured and then murdered, and more than 125 too many reported dead in Mumbai). Thank you to Dina in Jerusalem for posting about this. To use Twitter for updates, go to http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23mumbai or click http://hashtags.org/tag/mumbai/. For updates on Chabad, http://search.twitter.com/search?q=nariman (Nariman is the name of the Chabad house in Mumbai).
Tamar discussed on Eishes Chayil website (at the very end, Tamar is compared to Leah, a nice comparison of women who struggled)
