Three kids. One day trip. Where do you want go?
Eldest: Nowhere.
Middle: NOT to a zoo.
Youngest: To a zoo! Someplace with animals.
In the end, we went to Sandy Hook, at the top of the Jersey Shore. Sandy Hook has beautiful beaches, dunes, rocks, waves. Eldest Son stayed home, as he preferred, and tended to the homestead (he’s a teenager, he’s allowed).
We took one of my son’s friends.
The sky was a lovely blue, and the weather warm enough, considering it was mid-April.
The kids had a great time, climbing the rocks and playing in the sand.
I tried to get a little artsy with my photos.
There’s a lighthouse at the end of Sandy Hook, and there’s another lighthouse called Twin Lights that’s on the road on the way home from Sandy Hook. My kids opted out of going to the lighthouses today, but in the past we’ve gone to both. The Twin Lights Historic Site is a good place to visit if you were planning to go to the beach, but it ends up raining.
What do you do when your kids disagree? Do you just take them where you want to go?
You know the Barney Song? The purple dinosaur who sings: “remember please and thank you”.
It’s been a while since I’ve highlighted a local business. Here’s one that knows how to say thank you:
And, if you’re a search engine who is too stupid to read the words on an image, that’s:
RARITAN AIR WATER POWER SERVICE
HEATING • COOLING • PLUMBING •
ELECTRICAL • DRAINING CLEANING
10 YEAR WARRANTY ON NEW EQUIPMENT
CALL FOR SERVICE
1-877-501-COOL (2665)
A friend is working on a document for clients for her business. In order to stress the importance of thanking the client, I tell her about my furnace-air conditioner-fix-the-toilet guy, Zev, who sends thank you notes just about every time we use their business. Well, his wife Leslie actually sends the note, but they are both so gracious and professional.
And, lo & behold, I get a notice yesterday asking us to renew our contract, with this lovely, hand-written note at the bottom:
I had recommended her to Mike Beberman of Cyber Knights in New Brunswick. Another gracious businessperson.
Anyway, thank you, Leslie, for sending over your husband to fix: our shower, our toilet, our sink and our furnace. And whatever it was he did with our air conditioning system.
The Highland Park First Aid Squad, a group of dedicated volunteers who give of their own time, often answering calls at all hours of the night, needs your help. The First Aid Squad has been accepted as a possible recipient of up to $15,000 to be used towards a new ambulance by a project called “My Hometown Helper” sponsored by Hamburger Helper.
But to help the Squad get it, we need to post our support on the Hometown Helper website: http://myhometownhelper.com/ViewProject.aspx?id=37530
You should never need the Squad’s services, but if you do you’d want to make sure the ambulance is in good working order.
A friend today asked me to feature her blogs (yes, she has four and considering a fifth) and her business. So here are her blogs (you can tell her I sent you):
Her art on t-shirts, mugs, magnets, posters and more can be found on CafePress.com.
Another Highland Parker is reportedly working on a “lose weight, eat healthy” book. The diet is what I would call “steak and salad”: red meat is encouraged over chicken, vegetables should be plentiful. Absolutely no white flour or sugar, and no fruit. You can eat cheese on the diet. But milk is a no-no. I wonder if anyone could stick to this. Anyway, when it becomes a real book, I’ll write more.
This a picture of my mom, z”l (may her memory be a blessing), posing in front of some fancy shop in Newton Centre. We used to enjoy window shopping together. I took the photo in the late 1970’s? early 80’s? It captures a little of her personality.
From the Jewish State (local Central New Jersey newspaper):
According to a statement issued by Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan’s office the teens’ “alcohol-fueled vandalism” came from teenage boredom, not anti-Semitism. Kaplan said this means while the teens will still face vandalism charges in Family Court, they will not be prosecuted on the more serious charge of committing a hate crime.
and, on the civil suit filed against the teens:
The cost of reconstruction is currently estimated to be between $500,000 and $1 million. While adjudication of a juvenile is not a matter of public record, [Attorney Gerald] Gordon said, punitive-damage civil judgements remain in effect until they are paid. This would make it difficult, if not impossible, for the teens to get credit cards as adults and also damage their future credit reports.
Children need to learn at a young age to respect other people’s property. I believe Rabbi Bassous mentioned this in his speech on the cemetery desecration, but I will retell in my own words here:
The story in the Gemara (thank you to Olomeinu, a children’s magazine) is Mar Zutra’s goblet was stolen. He saw a man wiping his hands on someone else’s garment without permission. He then knew that that was the thief, for he saw that this man had no respect for the possessions of others (Bava Metzia 24a).
UPDATE: On the Main Line has the Olemeinu cartoon along with analysis of such cartoons. If you don’t take Olemeinu too seriously, it’s humorous.
We certainly can’t control how others raise their children. It seems like the best we can do is make it difficult for non-respecting people to get credit cards.
When I first blogged about the cemetery vandalism in New Brunswick, I wrote Are we in Eastern Europe? I am pleased to say we are not. What is the difference? Here in Central New Jersey, not only is the Jewish community reacting with shock to the recent vandalism, but there is also condemnation from the general community.
From today’s Daily Targum, the Rutgers student newspaper:
“It is one of the most dramatic events you [can] see in a physical sense,” said Rutgers University Student Assembly treasurer Yonaton Yares, a School of Arts and Sciences student.
RUSA unanimously passed a resolution Thursday to get students involved in the site’s repair.
Members of the assembly said such a resolution was necessary in order to make a statement on behalf of the student body that such acts are unacceptable.
“[The resolution] shows that Rutgers University doesn’t tolerate that kind of crime, because we don’t want to destroy our diversity,” said College Avenue Council Vice President Yelena Shvarts, a Rutgers College junior.
The key to preventing such acts from occurring in the future is to become opinionated, said RUSA recording secretary Kathryn Jenkins, a Douglass College student.
Yares said this incident has brought together members of Rutgers Hillel.
“We have decided to say that Rutgers students – Jewish, non-Jewish, black, white or Latino – all care about this,” he said.
RUSA hopes the assembly can generate the same solidarity among students that the University community demonstrated during the Don Imus controversy last year to prevent future acts from occurring.
“When someone goes on the radio and attacks our women’s basketball team, they don’t just attack those women. They attack the entire Rutgers community,” said RUSA chair Jim Kline, a Rutgers College senior. “The same goes when you attack the Rutgers community and what it stands for.”
Surveyors are beginning to assess the damage done to the site in an attempt to estimate the amount that repairs will cost.
A week after the incident, four teenagers were arrested and charged for committing the vandalism, though the acts were not deemed anti-Semitic by authorities, according to The Associated Press.
But Kline said the acts are upsetting to the Jewish community.
“I think our voice as the student body lends an olive branch to the Jewish community. It allows students to enter into this dialogue about racism, sexism and, in this case, anti-Semitism,” Kline said. “It’s important to have these conversations now that we live in this bubble where we can openly discuss ideas and thoughts.”
Somehow I think there is a connection to the film I viewed by a Franklin Township student yesterday. Sonal Thawani’s film “Take a Stand Against Violence,” a 6-minute piece showed the positive action taken by her community’s youth in response to the recent violence in her township. It was heartening to see in Sonal’s film that many people in her community wanted to see a stop to the violence. Likewise, we all would like cemetery desecration to stop as well.
My main thought is it is easier to teach a five-year old to respect property, respect the dead, and respect others than a 17 year old. And as both cemetery desecration and violence against one’s peers reflect poor anger management, some kind of positive channeling is needed at a young age. I hardly profess to have answers, but I am good at asking the questions.
From nj.com:
Accused vandals sued over Jewish cemetery destruction
A Rutherford resident whose parents’ gravestones were desecrated in a New Brunswick Jewish cemetery this month has filed a lawsuit against the four teenagers charged with causing the damage to nearly 500 headstones.
Mark Elfant is a member of Congregation Poile Zedek with familial ties to the congregation dating to the 1800s. Gerald Gordon, Elfant’s lawyer, said he is seeking monetary damages from the accused teenagers, their parents and anyone else involved. Damage has been estimated between $500,000 to $1 million.
“We’re not going to let them off the hook,” said Gordon, whose mother ran the cemetery for 30 years and who is handling the case pro bono. “The money we get will go to a fund for the restoration, security and perpetual care of the cemetery.”
Elfant’s mother, Ann Elfant, cared for the cemetery for five decades. His father, Morris Elfant, played a key role in creating the cemetery association. And his grandfather, Benjamin Elfant, was a founder of the congregation in the late 1800s.
Caryn Lipson, administrator at Congregation Poile Zedek, declined to comment.
“He is acting as a private citizen,” Lipson said. “This has nothing to do with the congregation.”
The commenters to the article all want to see something done. The idea that a 17 year old can commit such an act and walk away scot-free is bizarre.
Rabbi Bassous devoted his speech this past Shabbat to learning from the cemetery vandalism in New Brunswick. I missed the speech (my daughter had other plans for me), so I apologize in advance to Rabbi Bassous if I botch my summary of what he said. My husband related to me that he spoke about two topics:
1) Even when you are dead, you may still not be at rest. Vandals can still attack your grave.
2) It is important to raise children from an early age to respect property. This can start with teaching children to pick up a candy wrapper from the floor. Unfortunately, the teens involved in this incident were not raised to respect property.
=======
My husband pointed out that if the teens were tried in a Jewish Halachic court, they would be considered adults. In the American judicial system, they are considered juveniles.
In my searches on the web, I discovered that cemetery desecration is all too common a pastime for some teens. Clearly, there are a lot of parents out there NOT teaching their children to respect property, especially buried dead people. On one forum, I found young men bragging about their exploits, and saying the only reason why this is getting such publicity is because it is a Jewish cemetery. Sad. And scary.
Newswire update:
New Brunswick, NJ – Four teenagers have been arrested in connection with the damage done to nearly 500 headstones at the Jewish cemetery, a rabbi from one of the two synagogues that uses the cemetery said.
Received through a synagogue email:
The Jewish Federation of Greater Middlesex County stands with the community in expressing shock and sadness at the desecration and vandalism at the Poile Zedek Cemetery in New Brunswick.
Federation has teamed with Congregation Poile Zedek, Congregation Etz Ahaim, Rabbis, cemetery officials and the organized Jewish community to assess the damage and provide the support necessary to begin to heal and rebuild. We have approached law enforcement officials, the Mayor of New Brunswick, and the county prosecutor’s office in an effort to maintain open lines of communication. Federation, representing a united Jewish community, is in pursuit of a full-scale, rigorous investigation into this heinous crime, which is an affront to us all.
As we examine all avenues of effectively providing aid and comfort to those impacted and concentrate on putting together a formal plan of action, we are confident that we can count on your support during this trying time for our community. In that vein, we have established a fund for the repair and restoration of the cemetery. Donations can be sent to the Jewish Federation of Greater Middlesex County, earmarked “Cemetery Restoration Fund”. 100% of your donation will be directed toward this fund. Our address is 230 Old Bridge Turnpike, South River, NJ 08882. If you need more information, contact us at 732-432-7711 or [email protected]. You may also donate on line by logging onto our website at JewishMiddlesex.org.
